


Monster

by DPKhor



Series: We Need To Talk [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Post-Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 15:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5380073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DPKhor/pseuds/DPKhor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At some point of being in the Library, Carmilla manages to convince Laura to go to sleep. While watching said girl sleep, Carmilla takes the time to think about everything that happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monster

Carmilla watched as Laura slept. Although she could tell she wasn't sleeping soundly, it was better than nothing. Their escape into the library seemed more like punishment than freedom. They still had to figure out what to do next with Corvae taking over and the chance that the Dean was still alive.

But, no. She couldn't discuss it with Laura. Not yet, anyway. The poor girl was still a mess - over killing Vordenberg, over losing Danny.

Carmilla knew it was her fault. If she had followed Mother's instructions, then five girls would be going missing every 20 years. That's better than eternity of trying to fix messes.

But then again, if she had followed Mother's instructions, Laura would most likely be dead. She knew she shouldn't have told Laura what Mattie's secret to invincibility was. Maybe then, Mattie would still be alive but Danny would be dead.

Carmilla let out a huff in frustration. She thought about the people she killed during her rampage. What's adding a few more to the hundreds she killed long ago? Her indifferent behaviour probably hurt Laura. Her lack of concern and inhumane behaviour hurt others. But, hey, she was a vampire. What was she supposed to do when she couldn't be considered human anymore?

It wasn't that she didn't want to try to change. When she started dating Laura, she knew she'd have to try and change - not to appease her, but for their own good. But, she couldn't possibly expect 300 years of attitude to change overnight.

It hurt her to have to break up with Laura. She knew it hurt the other girl, too. She can't dwell in the past - in what might have been but that didn't stop her from thinking about it.

She buried her head in her hands, sighing heavily.

'...burn down everything you've ever loved for me, Carmilla.'

She flinched at the thought of her own words. At that moment, it seemed logical to say that. She was grieving - she was angry. Laura betrayed her trust by telling that redhead-...no. Don't.

She understood that Laura wanted Danny to be safe. That's what Carmilla meant for her when she told her Mattie's secret.

Carmilla cast a glance over at Laura, who was huddled in a ball, twitching in her sleep.

She loved her, she really did. She wanted nothing more than to get back together and act as if nothing had happened that brought them apart.

'Could we pretend, just for tonight, that if I asked; we'd run away?'

Her unbeating heart broke when Laura said 'no'. Looking back on it, she knew that she was just being honest. Carmilla didn't blame her.

Laura trusted her when her friends didn't (it was probably a mistake, too). When the rest of the world told her that Carmilla was a monster, Laura dismissed them. Unlike the others, she had hope. Such child-like hope that Carmilla couldn't help but feel as though she destroyed it.

With Silas in Corvae's hands; with their friends probably dead; with the entire student body at stake; Carmilla scoffed. Her mother was the real monster. While everyone was busy blaming everything that happened on Laura and Carmilla, it's almost as if they purposely overlooked the Dean being the mastermind behind all this.

"I'm not a monster," Carmilla told herself. She glanced over at Laura again.

"Am I?"

Carmilla sighed dejectedly, closing her eyes and putting her head between her knees.

She was a monster. She wasn't sure how Laura saw any different in her.

"Carm?"

"Right here, cupcake."

"I can't sleep."

"Same here."

Silence.

Carmilla raised her head to meet Laura's gaze. The light in those eyes were gone. Carmilla was shaken. Not because they were lifeless; but because they reminded her of herself.

"Can we talk?"

"Whatever you want, creampuff."

Carmilla knew that light wasn't gone. It never was. This was Laura Hollis they were talking about. Besides, even if she was a monster, there had to be a reason Laura loved her right?

And if she was loved then, that probably meant she wasn't one after all.


End file.
